Pictures I Took on the Way to Work (Mostly)

From the 99 cent store up the road:

The menfolk were especially interested in purchasing a 'bath belt' after this nubile young thing made it onto the package








Here's one for the ladies: a man of mediocre attractiveness with a goofy haircut and weird look on his face hawking polo shirts. Sorry, girls.








Some pictures I took on Goethals Avenue (and it's not pronounced go-thals):































Can anyone identify this berry? There were a ton of squished ones on the ground. I kind of wanted to eat one just to find out if it was tasty but I didn't.




Tree view. What are they?!?








I present to you the largest dandelion known to man.







The individual seedlings could knock out a baby.







I tell you, this thing was the size of a softball. It's getting ready to take on the fire hydrant.

Temporary Bed

My stuff is basically where I want it to go in my room, which is good because staring at a bunch of picked-through suitcases day in and day out is emotionally exhausting. However, the bed issue is starting to get me down. I bought an air mattress (a nice, tall one with a built-in pump!) online yesterday and it shipped today, so conservatively I estimate another five days for shipping. I pulled the gigantic futon from the couch in the living room and was pleasantly surprised when I went to sleep. "This isn't so bad," I said, "maybe I was a bit too hasty in ordering that air mattress."

Wrong. This futon, while nice and downy at first, quickly flattens into something resembling a hard quilt. It's like sleeping on a dog bed.

I should try going back to sleep, but I really don't want to.

New Room

The landlady is up here right now and spending a goodly amount of time steam-cleaning the carpet in the master bedroom. Apparently I can't go in for another three hours or so afterwards because it'll still be wet, but I really want to situate everything right now.

No more bug sightings.

The French guy's flight arrives at 3:00-ish today, so I have to lounge around and let him in. I hope he's suave and dreamy and sounds like Lumiere.

I have had so many cold showers lately just to alleviate how freaking hot it's been in here. I have a two-fan set up and it still isn't enough. And I'm naked like, all the time when I'm in my room because clothing has been so, so insufferable. Now here's my dilemma - the window's always open, but because there's a curtain, not much can be said for air flow. I considered just keeping the curtain up, but then I can't revel in my nudity. And after all those showers, I would have to keep pinning it up then putting it down multiple times per day. Of course eventually I would forget and the people across the way would get a free show.

The curtain is currently up, so I'll have to keep that in mind.

It rained last night but then the sky was like, "what rain?" and it immediately went back to being hot and muggy.

But, oh! The Peapod delivery guy showed up yesterday! Before 2:00 PM as promised! What did I get? It was like Christmas!

4 (!) pints of blueberries
Pound of strawberries
Container of whole mushrooms
Frozen bag of spinach
Frozen bag of broccoli
Frozen bag of green beans
Can of corn (the good kind, NOT the creamed kind, bleh)
Container of Saltines, with four individual sleeves of crackers
Salad in a bag
Medium salsa
Pack of lime Jello (not for 22 cents, unfortunately)
Large bottle of mouthwash
Bottle of cocoa butter moisturizer (I am drying myself out with all the showers)
Large tub yogurt
Large tub cottage cheese
Box of Honey Nut O's
Bottle of ketchup
Quarter of seedless watermelon

And there's probably something else I forgot. I made myself a spinach omelet yesterday that was superb, and ate some of the Saltines which were as tasty as I could expect.

I don't have training next Thursday OR Friday, so I might make the irritating trip down to the Brooklyn Ikea to pick up a mirror and some storage facilitators. Or I might not.

What I Did in School...

We were supposed to learn about CPR today, but it got bumped to next week because playing with children's educational software was more important.

Joan from the computer lab spent literally an hour teaching us how to use this Kidspiration program, and most of it was spent choosing fun icons. Here's my project:

Don't smoke, kids.

Role models include Eleanor Roosevelt and a merman.




The younger group is going to be doing an 'about me'. Here's all you have to know about me.

I like: ice cream, grapes, clothes, cats, my camera, and fans.

I dislike: being late, sports, bugs, and children. Just kidding!!

Or am I....?


I found a set of nice-looking TV trays on my walk today. One was kind of broken but the other was perfectly serviceable and is hanging out in the living room. I will post a picture once I get it all set up in my new room, however long that takes.

The squirt bottle I bought yesterday is a godsend. I just mist myself every few minutes and it's just as good as air conditioning.

That's a lie. Nothing is a good as air conditioning.

Food Boxes

I'm a little less concerned today about the imminent cockroach infestation that I feared last night. I talked to the girl whose room I'm taking and she said that in two and a half years, she's never seen one. She could be lying.

But really, she's moving out and has no reason to lie to me.

In better news, I picked up a pop-up hamper, animal crackers in a 1-lb bag, and a spray bottle so that I can gently mist myself as I type.

I still need a bed. I am on Craigslist but it's futile because I have no delivery van with which to pick up a bed. You know, I'm probably going to be stuck on an air mattress for the next two years.

Has anyone heard of like, the Angel Food boxes? Here's what they have on the menu for June in New York. I don't think it's like, stealing from homeless, needy children because they say anyone can pick up the box. For those too lazy to click, here's the box contents (for the low, low price of $30.00):

1.5 pounds of rib eye steak
1.5 pounds of hamburger patty
2 pounds of pork riblets
4 pounds of individually quick frozen chicken leg quarters
2 pounds of breaded chicken tenders
20 ounces of supreme pizza
1 pound of mild Italian sausage
2 pounds of French fries
16 ounces of sliced carrots
16 ounces of mixed vegetables
32 ounces of 2% reduced fat shelf-stable milk
6 ounces of pancake mix
15 ounces of pork and beans
14 ounces of ketchup
7.5 ounces of mac and cheese
1 dozen eggs
1 dessert item


Wow! However, the fact remains that nothing here is really appealing to me. I don't cook meat, and really the only things I'd be interested in were the eggs, the ketchup, the mac and cheese, the mysterious 'dessert item', and the veggies. Oh, and maybe the supreme pizza if it wasn't terrible.

July mixes it up a bit, makes it a bit more palatable. Here's the full list, because I have that kind of time:

40 ounces of Marie Callender's Family Crock Pot Dinner (with meat)
1.5 pounds of boneless pork filet
5 pounds of breaded chicken chunks (I just threw up)
1.5 pounds of meaty beef ribs
28 ounces of meatloaf and gravy
1 pound of beef fajitas
1 pound fully cooked meatballs
1 pound all meat hot dogs
1 pound broccoli
1 pound peas and carrots
28 ounces pasta sauce
1 pound pasta
32 ounces of 2% reduced fat shelf-stable milk
32 ounces of Hawaiian punch
12 corn tortillas
7 ounces of blueberry muffin mix
1 dozen eggs
1 dessert item


This looks better - I would take the veggies, hot dogs, pasta components, tortillas, muffin mix, eggs, and once again, the 'dessert item'. It still is a really good price for all the meat.

From the FAQs:

Generally, one unit of food assists in feeding a family of four for about one week or a single senior citizen for almost a month. The food is all the same high quality one could purchase at a grocery store. There are no second-hand items, no damaged or out-dated goods, no dented cans without labels, no day-old breads and no produce that is almost too ripe.

Hmmm....

Tomorrow is CPR training day.

I still don't know what I'm going to do about a bed.

Las Cucarachas

Oh lord, oh lord. I am about to faint, or have a heart attack, or both.

So I'm just playing on the computer, minding my own business, when all of a sudden this cockroach appears from behind my desk. I play it cool, saying things to myself like, "my, that cockroach is giant" and "how wonderful to live in the city". I try out various methods of killing or trapping it in my head, and none of them seem feasible because did I mention that THIS ROACH WAS ENORMOUS? It was as big as dearly departed Mousie, no joke.

One of my first encounters.











I'm hemming and hawing and trying to avoid having to interact with this bug, and it's quickly climbing away from me.





On to the ceiling! Not good! I go to the kitchen and eventually find a nice deep plastic bowl and piece of paper with which to trap it.





It has other plans. Those suckers are freaking lightning. I attempted to encase it and all that happened was a lovely crrrr-accckkk when I got it right down the middle. Now, I officially freak out because I can't lift the container because it will fall, and nobody wants two halves of a cockroach behind their bed. But I also don't want to press in harder because first of all, ew, and second of all, one half of a cockroach behind the bed and another in a clear plastic container is equally distasteful.

So I try to kind of flick it into the bowl which DOES NOT WORK and now the cockroach is somewhere on my suitcase. I pick the suitcase up oh-so-gingerly and THERE IT IS, now scuttling away near my toiletries which are all piled up on the former tenant's shoes, full of dark places to hide away. Oh, god. I don't know what to do.

I walk over to the desk and I'm moving the fan when AUGHGHGH a cockroach flies out from under the fan!! Was it the same one!?!?!? This new roach seems a lot smaller. And it doesn't have a major gash down its middle like the other one should have. Anyways, I manage to trap that bad boy and oh god, oh god, it kept pushing at the side of the bowl and I was paranoid that I was going to let it slip just a bit and it would get out and touch parts of me.

I am still sweating and my heart is palpitating, I swear. Was it the same cockroach? Where there's one, there's probably more. My suitcase was pretty much on the other side of the room. I know they're fast, but why wouldn't it just stay under the bed?

Where can I buy boric acid at this time of night?

I really don't know what to do. I don't want to go to sleep. I don't want this to end up like Mouse Hunt, but I'm afraid I have no choice.

Storm Power

Last night, I had a dream that I was in a grocery store and I was ecstatic because I found Jello on sale for 22 cents a pack. These are my dreams, folks! Hoping against hope to find moderately-priced brand name gelatin. Sad.

Today's training was pretty short; we learned about abuse, neglect, and how to fill out an Incident Report to avoid getting sued. Pretty much everything is an 'incident'.

I was able to register today (thank god) and I got my hip 'storm card' which is really just a student ID. They made me take off my glasses in the picture because of the flash so now I'm going to get suspicious glances whenever I use it somewhere to get a discount.

At the library today I managed to check out a book, register my card, irritate a library page when I insisted that he request The Annotated Lolita from the Staten Island campus, and check my email. How productive.

I have the day off tomorrow and I'm not sure what I'll do. Perhaps go to a thrift store. Maybe look for the elusive Family Dollar. I wish that other girl would move out already so I could start unpacking.

Getting Settled

My job training only went until 1:00 today until 3:00 as scheduled, so I immediately came home, showered, and took a nap. Now that those important things are over, I can post.

This is my pretty new laptop from St. John's. I want to go to the police headquarters and inquire about the success rate of Operation Laptop. That's an operation I want to be a part of.


It's really light, smallish, and super fast. Hooray for new things!


Travis and I went to MoMA on Sunday, and most people (I am not exempt) were fascinated by this fan on a cord that swung like a pendulum from the ceiling. It looked like it could decapitate at will, but it didn't really get close enough to hit anyone.

Hypnotized by ART!








It was moving, but I didn't get a video.







Oh man, oh man! All Olafur needed were those neon yellow lights and I would have been entertained for hours. They suck out color! Everyone is in yellow-tinted black and white!



Everyone! What color are they wearing? Who knows!







Hint: my wallet is usually green, white, and black. But you couldn't tell from this picture.






I look really tan. Too bad it didn't last.







Interesting window attachment.








Side view.











Part of the exhibit was this dark room with strobe lights and falling water, and the strobe effect made it so you could see the individual droplets. It was okay.





OooOOoooh!








I got bopped in the head, in silhouette.








Travis and the art.








I thought cooler things would happen if I got a close-up of a neon light. Nope.







The rest of the light.








Moving on to more important things: ew! First of all, egg nog ice cream sounds nasty. The word 'nog' is nasty. Second of all, this was a promotion from Nov - Dec 2007? What? Just, ew.



Now, I know I can't complain about food prices, because people are like, "ha-yuk, what did you think? You live in New York!" But come on. $6.49 for Froot Loops! Froot Loops! Wow. Somehow, DC must have avoided the super-high price gouge.


Back in the good old days, when life was sweet and carefree, I would wait and pick up a box or two when I was at Wal-Mart and there was a sale on Banana Nut Crunch. At that point, I could buy two boxes for $5.00. Those halcyon days are gone.






Some clever prankster made Will Smith all grotesque and changed the sign to say "Will Smith is Hitch again". Hah.





They had to massacre Eddie Murphy to do it, though.







So this morning I go out to have a bowl of my favorite Frosted Mini Spooners and a dove/pigeon (is there a dif?) was just perched on the balcony.




Wow! I was up really close and it didn't even look over. Birds have gross feet. This is like, the nicest bird in the world and it still has gross feet.





Two new accidental acquisitions for my apartment:

A FAN!!!! Oh lord, I was really not looking forward to having to a: buy a fan and b: dragging it back to my apartment. However, some lady left a bunch of stuff outside and I was peeking around hoping that she wouldn't come out and berate me for looking through her stuff. There's no handle and no adjusting knob, but when I plugged it in it went right to the top speed. That's my kind of fan.

She also threw away a print of Picasso's Guernica. Woo! This was like, the only Picasso I ever studied, because I'm ignorant. There appears to be some water damage near the bottom and top, but that is easily cut off. I was desperate for decor.





I just called some lady from Craigslist who was advertising a microwave for sale for $30. This was perfect, for three reasons:

• I need a microwave so badly. I thought I could do without but I cannot. It's only been a few days but I keep thinking about stuff I need to microwave.
  
• This ad on Craigslist had a phone number, so I could call her and have her answer in Real Time.
  
• She lives on the lower East Side and we were already planning to go there for dinner.
  

So I called her up and she sounds pleasant and was amenable to me picking it up tonight, and she had dinner plans as well so I can just call her when we're done eating because she said she'll be up until like, midnight. I even had the audacity to haggle (I am so, so bad at it and don't like to risk ruining a perfectly good business transaction) and asked if she'd take $20. She would! Now I have a microwave just waiting for me to pick it up. For twenty bucks. Awesome.

New Apartment

So, to provide some resolution, here is the latest habitat of the pink bathroom spider. He (or she) looks to be munching on a pretty big bug.





Also, I made it to New York in one piece.

But no thanks to the tiny prop job airplanes that I took from Pittsburgh to Cleveland and then to JFK. Arienne would have to be dragged on this plane kicking and screaming.






Aerial view leaving Cleveland.








That was the shadow of our plane upon descent.







By the way, my apartment does indeed exist. Here's the kitchen.







This was the tiny bedroom that I was supposed to have but is now going to another prospective tenant.





The living room.








We even have a balcony.











There's this old hospital across the street that looks like it should be like, a ghost town condemned building but is in fact still up and running.




This is Alexis' room, where I have to stay for the next week until the inhabitant of my future room moves out.





I don't even want to talk about the grocery store prices but I found these delicious snacky treats irresistible.





They were right next to their deep-fried cousins.







I had my orientation all afternoon (it was dull; lots of explanations of how to use the web site and how to design a freaking Powerpoint) but I did get to pick up my new laptop, which means that now I can be mobile rather than desperately seeking available outlets wherever I roam.