Hirschhorn Museum

On Friday I was able to take some time off and being a really cool person I went to Target to pick up like deodorant and stuff. This is where you find out just how cool I am: the Target cartscelator is so, so nifty that I took a video. Next time, I'll put the camera in the cart for some alternate perspective.

We had a string of really nice days, followed by two days of crappy rain. Luckily, yesterday I was stuck in the hostel all day making fun of people who were allowed to go outside.

The flowers are in full bloom here in the nation's capitol.







These were on the way to the bus stop down by Dupont Circle, where people have nice lawns.








Close-up.








And a clever flower segue into... Saturday! This was a field of tulips down by the White House.






Some biker lady was nice enough to take our picture and tell us how tall we are. Tall enough to block out the White House! And of course I'm really squinty.




We took a trip down to the Hirschhorn museum for some wacky modern art fun. I loved this lighting fixture.





Travis performed a burlesque dance behind a red curtain. Moments later, we were ejected from the museum.





Art!











This was the best installment ever. There was a fog machine and beams! Of light! And some kind of fan so that the fog gathered around in this cosmic swirl.




The next best one was a video that featured some Rube Goldbergian contraption set in some dirty warehouse that employed balloons, fire, water, tires, ladders, foam, and gravity! This movie went on for literally a half hour and was one of the funniest pieces in the museum.

Travis and art!








Art! Perspective!

Pope Visit

Everyone's clamoring for the Pope video, so here it is. The Popemobile is a silly car.

I got down to the White House probably around 10:30 in the morning and waited an ungodly (snark) amount of time for anything to happen. The police officers in the area looked bored.



But did you NOTICE his NAME TAG??? That cannot be a coincidence.






A bunch of people shirking their duties to watch nothing happen.







There was this loud guy that had a speaker and was very anti-Catholic and pretty entertaining except that he only had like, three main points and kept repeating them verbatim.




This mom and her two kids were right in front of me with these DIY beaded things rosaries and she kept telling them "hold them up high so they can be blessed!" Hmm. Hope that worked out.

Hostel on Sunday

I've declared today to be an intense TV watching extravaganza. I started with episodes of that look alike show where they take a frumpy mom and transform her into Jennifer Garner. Now I'm onto the Angry Beavers, which is even funnier than I remember. To find them, click here and do a search for, obviously, angry beavers. I can't believe that Nick is still playing these.

The one where they stay up all night is good. Best line: "A spleen with an opposable thumb - oh the humanity."

I really wish I could find Daria episodes that weren't all YouTube cut.

And I know Sam still reads this so, hello Sam, you crazy lurker you.

There were a ton of people that checked out this morning so that means two things: I am hot and tired, and I may have a chance at using the bathroom in the morning. We're booked solid this weekend coming up, so this is a short-lived luxury.

Someone left hot dogs in the fridge and while I'm not 100% sure that they checked out, I want a hot dog bad enough to feign ignorance when someone comes up to me and says, "but now there's only three left!". We don't even have buns, so I'm just going to cut it up on a plate and dip it in my fancy inherited Grey Poupon.

Note: I just finished the hot dog. The mustard was excellent but the hot dog only so-so. The skin did not crisp enough. Tragedy.

En Route

Here I am, on the Bolt Bus, bolting my way to NYC in a luxury coach. The internet really does work, and it's well worth the extra five bucks. They checked neither reservation number nor license while boarding, so maybe in the future I could sneak a couple trips for free.

I think I packed way too much.

It's allergy season, and I have the lovely combination of runny nose, sneezing, and sore sinus cavities. I look really good right now.

By strategic eye contact avoidance and exaggeration of bag size, I managed to sit by myself. There's a cute guy in front of me but even he wouldn't be worth sitting next to - especially on the inside seat.

I think I lost one of the ear buds on my headphones, which is sad and distressing. I just ebay-bought a set of three pairs of small ear buds so hopefully I can work around this in the future.

Travis and I watched Pygmalion last night, which was definitely not a musical despite my fears to the contrary. It was olde-timey and full of lines that must have inspired Montgomery Burns.

Speaking of olde-timey, I have been listening to Roger Miller nonstop. He's the creative genius behind such classics as "Do Wacka Do", "You Can't Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd", and "The Last Word in Lonesome is Me". He was the best part of Disney's Robin Hood. The lyrics are pure gold, as well - he just managed to rhyme 'purple' with 'maple syrup'll'.

Newseum

The Newseum! A museum of news! Was it worth twenty dollars???

Not really! But, it was enjoyable.

We sat in on a live Talk of the Nation NPR broadcasting, which was both entertaining and educational. It featured four political writers from different media.



I'd had enough radio after the first hour, so we skipped the second half to explore the museum. Travis decided that he wanted to be a broadcaster.


Him and the technician, discussing broadcasty things.







Hamming it up for the camera.








Wow, on real live TV! Almost!







How fun.











He's still not as cool as Smokin' Joe, however.







The Newseum is preparing children for the cubicle life ahead of them.







A giant news helicopter...








IT'S GONNA HIT! EVERYBODY DOWN!







They had a nice terrace view of Pennsylvania Avenue.









Yes, I know what building this is.







Oh, we got to experience journalism in FOUR DIMENSIONS! We went through time! Things came out of the screen! Water gently misted our faces! We were warned going in that pregnant women should not sit in the moving seats. That's when I broke the news to Travis. Am I kidding? Hm??

They had a memorial to journalists killed in action with several large bouquets that made the entire area smell like a funeral home.





So I just got a phone call from a Saint J's admissions rep, who was now saying "Alaina, we want to interview you now, please come in ... this Saturday at 2:40." As in, three days from now. Goodness, that's short notice. I was looking at the bus schedules for the morning and becoming uneasy because something always happens to me on trips, like getting lost or the bus breaking down in a desolate area of no cell phone reception (really happened) or really slow old people. I would prefer to go up as early as possible to keep my sanity, so if any friends or kindly relatives could house me, I would bring along gratitude and a mystery present. It's such a mystery that I don't even know what it will be. How could you refuse?

German Invasion

I just processed the third German schoolgroup this month, which means that I'm picking up on things they say such as "Vas ist dein addressen uf dist Hostel?". Except they say it with umlauts.


This is on most buses, and it says "three million miles without a preventable accident". Some wag wrote underneath, "but how many unpreventables?"




In fantastically improbable news, we were able to visit the SPY MUSEUM yesterday. Although there were 'no photography' signs everywhere, I managed to snap this shot. Like the ninja, I too can be stealthy.

The museum was a lot more extensive that I had hoped (nay, dreamed) for. There were multiple levels and a Aston Martin. We were able to crawl through a short span of duct, complete with carpeted floor just like in real life.

After that experience we needed some big box retail therapy, so we checked out the brand spanking new Target up in Columbia Heights. Oh lordy, where to begin? They had a Pizza Hut and a Starbucks in the cafeteria area. Everything was clean. They had an escalator for the shopping carts so you could go from level one to two and back down with the same cart. The only downside: the Icee machine was out of order. And it advertised Twizzler-flavored strawberry Icees, the kind that make me weak in the knees. I am considering a strongly worded email to Target reminding them of the financial loss they took when I did not buy one.

On the way back, I had a chance encounter with my mortal enemy, Blooniez.






She deliberately taunted me.








Like a giant balloon raspberry.








I used Travis as the 'oh, I'm not taking a picture of you freaks, I'm taking a picture of this very ordinary man standing on the street corner' guy.







A shameful retreat. Better luck next time.

I'm Dull

This week passed quickly with nothing of particular note. I'm working at the hostel tonight and have already processed around ten of seventeen guests. We're booked full until the 12th, yippity.

I haven't been to Safeway in weeks. It's almost a creative exercise at this point. Someone left a sleeve of Ritz crackers; I can use the cream cheese from the Stanford group to make tasty Ritz sandwiches. The unflavored yogurt becomes a tasty carrot dip. No oven? Unfortunately I'll have to eat all of those cookie dough pieces raw. Oh, the sacrifices involved.